


Pull me out of sinking fear

by BrainlessGenius



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Good Friend, Drowning, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Logan can't swim, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Logince - Freeform, M/M, Ocean, One Shot, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Prompt Fill, Swearing, Tumblr Prompt, and maybe more than a friend, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:14:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28730265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrainlessGenius/pseuds/BrainlessGenius
Summary: The twins have invited the others into the Imagination to cool down from the heat. Logan would have appreciated the refreshing waves of the beach just as much as the others, if not for the fear threatening to drown him.A fill for the prompt request "Logan angst; Logan not knowing how to swim"
Relationships: Anxiety & Creativity & Dark Creativity & Deceit & Logic & Morality (Sanders Sides), Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 5
Kudos: 74





	Pull me out of sinking fear

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning/s:** drowning, fear of drowning, panic, mature language (swearing)

As logical as he was, Logan had to admit that the Imagination was a fascinating place. 

The twins shared control over the place, so there really was no telling what one could encounter while inside. Logan realized long ago that there was no use making sense of it as both Creativities themselves have emphasized how there were literally “no bounds” for the Imagination. Did the lack of rule and rationality bother Logan? Yes, it did. But it wasn’t his domain, therefore, out of his control.

Occasionally, they’d invite the others in, easily morphing the landscapes into whatever they wished. During those times, Logan would often leave the decision-making to the others and have them change the scenery to their hearts’ content in exchange for his only request to be fulfilled.

He only wished that as much sense of logic and realism be kept. 

He had always found comfort in the constant, governing rules of physics, in the truths of biochemistry, and in the natural order of the universe. The others easily agreed to their little compromise, allowing all the unicorns to temporarily trot as gorgeous stallions and the man-eating chimeras reduced to wild lions running free.

That day, it was a beach. It wasn’t the most adventurous they’ve come up with, nor was it the most elaborate setup the twins have done, but at the moment it worked. The hot, Florida summer heat was unbearable to work in and the fact manifested just as much within the mindscape. The fresh breeze and cool waves of the sea was a perfect choice.

Logan would have been just as appreciative for the cooling relief of the tropical landscape if not for the hint of fear niggling beneath the surface. He looked at the gentle waves before him; unthreatening and inviting in its soothing motions. But to Logan the motions spelled differently. It spelled a threat. 

The ocean itself was not terrifying. In fact, Logan had always harbored a fascination for aquatic creatures and everything else the earth’s waters contained. There are already thousands of uncovered species in our waters alone, and there still remain millions to be discovered. A deep, magnificent mystery. 

Logan feared drowning. It seemed silly, embarrassing even, that the embodiment of Logic did not know how to swim, yet he could never deny the fact. He’d supplied Thomas with all the necessary knowledge and skill he would need to achieve the ability to swim, yet Logan could not apply the same practice to himself.

It was a misgiving he was ashamed of and a fear he’s been trying hard to hide. It was the entire reason he hadn’t taken a single dip in the water since their arrival despite the others’ protests.

He could see all five of them from where he sat under an umbrella, sporting a short-sleeved Spandex top and bottom as he finished a crossword. A very unchallenging one, at that. He supposed it was ironic to be wearing swim attire when he had absolutely no plans of going into the water, but it was the only attire he saw fit for him. It would take a miracle before anyone got Logan to wear a tank top like Roman and Janus were and he’d be dead before he showed up shirtless like Remus and Patton were. 

“Hey, nerd! The point was to cool down. Why the hell aren’t you in here?” Virgil asked from where he stood hip-deep in the water, the loose nylon shirt he was wearing only half wet. Until Janus pulled his leg from under him, that was. Virgil sputtered as his upper torso dropped into the lapping waves, sneering as he lightheartedly fought to pull Janus under too.

A pinch of worry wormed through Logan as he watched Janus’ entire form fall under the water, courtesy of Virgil. “I am perfectly capable of lowering my temperature by staying under the shade, Virgil. Thank you for the offer.” He let out a breath when he saw him resurface again with a vengeful grin.

“Aw, but the water’s fine, Lo! It’s much cooler and much more fun here, too!” Patton exclaimed while tossing a beach ball to Roman, both about thigh-deep in the ocean.

“Again, no thank you, Patton.” Logan rediverted his attention towards his crossword puzzle, satisfyingly filling in the third item across. His focus was cut off by a splash of water soaking his puzzle along with bits of his attire.

“Wha--”

Remus only snorted, sending another burst of seawater his way. “Come on, Nerd deGrasse Tyson. Stop being a whiny prude and get down and wet with us!”

Logan groaned as he grabbed a towel to pat himself dry with, taking off his glasses to wipe them clean too. “I said I did not want to--”

Roman cut him off, tossing the ball back to Patton again. “Oh come on, Logan. I promise there isn’t anything in here that’s out to get you or something.”

“That is not my reason. How many times do I have to reiterate that I do not want to-- _ah_!” Logan yelped as he felt himself suddenly being lifted off his seat in a two-man carry. His blurry vision made it hard to see, but upon closer inspection he identified the culprits as the twins.

He kicked and fought in their grasp, his fear starting to rise in his chest as the two brought him closer and closer to the water. “Remus, Roman, set me down--”

“Okay, we will. But riiiiiiiiight over here.” They dropped him right beside Janus, making him land bottom-first into the hip-level water which reached up to his neck in the position he was in. The panic began to set in quick, his breaths going deeper as he frantically and clumsily pulled himself up to stand. 

Janus steadied Logan in his spot as water dripped down from his hair and face. Logan hoped Deceit wouldn’t pick up on the uneasiness taking over him. “Relax, Logan. The water’s _definitely_ that deep. Besides, isn’t this so much _warmer_ than your sizzling little spot over there?”

He kept his eyes on Janus and the others behind him closer to the shore, keeping himself from looking at the waves crashing into his lower half. “I see how this is refreshing, Janus, but I still rather be back there--”

His sentence was cut off by a beach ball coming near his face. He caught it just as the soft rubber hit his nose, his legs bringing him backwards a few feet in the process. He didn’t immediately notice how it got deeper in those few steps.

“Toss it here, Logan!” Patton said, waving his bare arms up so Logan could see him even without the glasses. Logan quickly tossed it and attempted to walk his way back towards the shore, trying not to mind the active waves colliding with his legs. 

He had only taken a few steps forward when someone stopped him yet again, hand pulling at his wet top backwards further into the ocean. He didn’t miss how rapidly his heart rate shot up as he gasped.

“Hey, Lo, come here for a ‘sec,” the side said. Logan squinted his eyes and identified the person who pulled him as Roman. The water lapped at their waists, too high for Logan’s comforts. Logan shook in his spot, the fear sinking in him as he heard and felt every wave coming toward them. He hoped Roman only took it as him shivering from the water.

“What is it, Roman?”

Roman looked at him through the wet hair sticking to his face, hands coming up to fix it slightly. “Do you hate it that much?” Roman asked. Logan merely looked at him in response, too focused on the slightly stronger wave that passed by them. “The water, I mean? Do you hate it that badly?”

He could have told the truth right then and there and only Roman would have known. His silly little fear could have remained their secret. “I just… do not favor it, is all. I still would prefer to be on land.” But he still couldn’t manage spitting out the entire truth.

Roman furrowed his brows and looked off into the horizon for a while as Logan shivered and contemplated why on earth they were having this conversation at this level of water. He snapped his eyes back at Logan just in time for him to slow his breathing the slightest bit.

“What if I can make you like the water? I bet I can.”

Logan shook his head, thoughts still focused on getting out of there. “Roman, nothing is going to make me change my mind abou--”

He felt something nudge his leg underwater. He jolted a bit at the unexpected sensation, but the crystal clear of the water made it possible for Logan to see the source. It was a fish. An average-sized fish with beautiful deep-blue scales that shone off the sun’s reflection in the water, long waving tail and fins trailing behind it. 

He had not seen anything like it before. Not in the books, not in the articles, and not in the documentaries. He looked up at Roman wordlessly, and the latter smiled back at him. Roman made a silent gesture downwards, and soon they were surrounded by dozens of fish. They swam around them in different sizes, swimming patterns, shapes, and colors. He hadn’t even noticed when the panic began dissolving away, slowly but surely dripping out of him as he ran his fingers through the fish-decorated water. 

“Roman, how--”

Roman scratched his head, both of them swaying a bit as a particularly stronger wave pushed through. “I don’t actually memorize what actual fish look like anatomically, sorry. I know you like realistic and rational things but hey, fish are fish, right?”

Logan let out a small smile, temporarily forgetting why he was so averse to the ocean in the first place. “Redundant, but yes.” He leaned down to touch a few beautiful creatures with his hand, not realizing the tide was slowly rising.

Another wave coursed through, the late afternoon sun bouncing off its surface. None of them noticed how it pulled them even farther from the shore. “Does this mean you’ll like the water now? That you’ll stay?”

In the midst of Logan marvelling at the display of life circling them, the question knocked some sense back into him. His hand quickly pulled away from the water, the sudden motion causing the fish to swim away. His head snapped up to meet Roman, and suddenly Logan was hyper-aware again of where he stood. Another wave surged through, the temporary rise of the water submerging them to their necks, the panic in him rising along with it. Roman took notice of their current predicament as the water receded back to chest-level.

“The tide is rising. We should start going back to shallower water--”

“Yes, yes, we should.” If Logan’s reply came out shakier than he wanted it to be, he no longer cared. He just wanted to be back in the safety of the shore.

Roman blinked at his speedy reply and nodded, starting to swim forward back to the others. Logan felt his breathing grow rapid once Roman’s quick swimming almost instantly left him alone. He had forgotten the fact that no one knew of his inability to swim. For a while his fear kept him in place, as though his feet were pinned by seaweed to the sandy ocean floor. His logic still kicked in inevitably once he registered how fast Roman was moving to safety and he started to make his way forward, one heavy step at a time.

But he wasn’t quick enough.

Logan wasn’t ready for a large wave to crash down on him, barely giving him enough time to shout out a name or any incoherent sound before he was being dragged by the ocean underwater. The salt burned his eyes as his arms flailed around, the little oxygen he stored up in his lungs quickly depleting. The panic rising in Logan begged him to take in some air, but the water surrounding him told him that that would be the worst thing to do right now. He struggled to get proper footing, kicking around until his feet found the coarse ocean floor, pushing himself up.

He gulped for air once his head poked above the water, immediately yelling out _“Help--!”_ before another wave pulled him under and further away. Logan knew how ocean waves and currents worked. They crashed forward only to recede again, pulling anything with it away from the shore and into the stillness of the deeper ocean. He recalled how he had asked for the closest semblance of reality in the Imagination, and Logan began to regret it. The ocean’s convection stood true to their natural behavior and the high tide was indeed washing in.

As the waves continued to dance above him, he knew he was being pulled deeper and deeper into the ocean. He did not stop fighting, trying to ignore the burning in his lungs as he moved according to instinct, desperate to taste a lick of air. He found footing once more and kicked, the action enough to grant him just one thread of oxygen and a blurry image of the horizon before he was once again pushed down by the force of the overpowering waves.

Logan knew the waves would calm at a certain distance, but that would be at an area where the ocean floor would be too deep, too far for Logan to merely push himself off it and grapple for the surface. As he continued his futile movements he thought of how humans were naturally buoyant in the water and even more so at sea. Yet the waves and undercurrent seemed like different entities of their own, pinning Logan down to drown in saltwater and fear. 

The current tossed and turned him underneath, his body uncomfortably dragging across a few corals and rocks on the seabed. He pushed up yet again, groaning as his chest burned from a lack of air. His arm broke the surface of the water but his head remained under. He began to sink once again, taking note of how he seemed to fall deeper this time. Eventually his panic and reflexes got the better of him, his mouth opening on its own accord and inhaling. An act of betrayal by his own body in its fight to survive.

Logan felt the water rushing down his esophagus as he swallowed. He choked as more water entered his airways, clogging up his lungs and preventing any chance of breathing. He violently coughed and gasped underneath, his body putting out last efforts to save him while he battled the current with his fatigued limbs.

The human body isn’t built to withstand such tremendous pressure, nor was it made to function underwater without a single pinch of oxygen to sustain it. But Logan still did what he could, spending his last bouts of energy to clumsily and weakly swim up to the surface one last time. He pushed through the fiery water in his lungs and the heavy feeling of his limbs for this last chance of survival. 

Yet the body has its limits, and Logan’s reached his just when he felt the gentle touch of dusk on a single fingertip. A hand on his arm was the last thing he felt before everything turned black.

~~~

He woke up to a sharp pressure against his chest and the strong need to breathe. Instead of a breath, what came out was a cough. Multiple, painful, hacking coughs that shook his entire form. He felt himself being guided onto his side where he sputtered, feeling something being dislodged from his chest as the coughs continued. The same hands were patting his back with slight force, helping him expel the water he had taken up. The second he could breathe again, Logan took advantage of it. He stayed propped up on his side, just letting himself relish in the sweet, sweet taste of air as the blurry voices around him started to clear out.

He was guided onto a sitting position as he breathed, leaning onto another body who he could only assume to be Patton. He was the only other shirtless side, he remembered, aside from Remus who was kneeling right in front of him rubbing his arm.

“Thank fuck you woke up from the chest compressions. I thought I was gonna have to kiss you or some shit--”

“That’s… that’s not how CPR works, Remus,” Janus said as he handed Logan his glasses plus a towel he could wrap himself with. He hadn’t noticed how much he was shivering.

Patton helped him don the towel, lifting him up slightly as he did. “How’re you feeling, Lo?”

Logan cleared his throat, wincing from the hoarseness of it. “Exhausted and cold, but otherwise alright.”

“Scared the living shit out of us, Logan,” Virgil rambled, tossing Logan a bottle of distilled water which he barely caught. He gratefully took a sip. “Don’t you dare pull another stunt like that ever again.”

“To be fair, Virgil, I did say I preferred to be on land--”

“But you didn’t tell me you couldn’t swim.” 

Logan craned his neck to find whoever said it. Roman pushed past Remus, Virgil, and Janus to crouch down in front of Logan, sopping wet and eyes slightly red. He wore a towel around his shoulders too, the setting sun casting a pinkish-orange glow on Roman’s terrified face.

Logan thought it fit to begin explaining. “Roman, I apologize for not telling you--”

“When I got back to them I turned around and you weren’t there. I didn’t know what in Olympus to think when I couldn’t see you anywhere in the water.” Roman was shivering just as badly as he was, the tremors in his voice making it obvious. “Then we heard you shout from the distance for the slightest second and _dear Zeus,_ Logan, I’ve never been more terrified in my entire life.”

Logan pulled the towel around him tighter, waiting for Roman to carry on. In front of him, the prince continued to tremble from the bite of the cold air, looking at Logan with watery eyes and deep breaths. “I swear I got there as fast as I could but you weren’t… you weren’t moving when I reached you.”

Logan wasn’t sure if the droplet that rolled down Roman’s cheek came from his hair or his eye. “I’m sorry, Roman--”

Roman cut him off with an embrace, pulling him up from where he was leaning and holding Logan tight against him. “Just… don’t ever do that again. Please,” Roman whispered, his arms growing tighter around Logan’s cold form. 

Logan slowly hugged back, breaths deep and slow. “I promise.”

Roman pulled away with a smile, offering a hand to help Logan stand up and motioning for the others to get back into the mindscape as well. 

If they didn’t let go of each other’s hands as the setting sun barely lit the sandy walk back, no one said a thing.

**Author's Note:**

> How y'all faring today? Every little support and kudos is eternally appreciated. Pay me a visit on my Tumblr [ @nerdy-emo-royal-dad](https://nerdy-emo-royal-dad.tumblr.com/)! Stay safe fams <3


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